She is 12 in three days!!

Ginny, I am so proud of you.  Today you gave me $300.00 that you have saved for over a year now.  Occasionally you would ask to go to the corner store and you would always take your own money but never did you waiver and decide to spend it on something other than what you had intended.  Two Christmas' ago Keegan got an ipod for Christmas and instead of crying and whining and insisting that you get one as well you decided from that point on that you were going to save for an ipod.  You told everyone your plan and you stuck to it and after babysitting, cat watching, cutting grass and so much more you reached your goal.  That is a big goal for someone your age in fact it is a big goal for someone my age.  Having the determination and will power to save for that long is a rare thing in our world.  I pray that this will be just the beginning and that you will be able to save for your first car, your secondary schooling and even some day your house.  I want you to always look back on this day and remember how excited you were to finally purchase that item that you saved up for.  I want you to know that you can achieve anything if you just put your mind to it.  I want you to know that even if you fail you can still get right back up and try again.

You are growing into a beautiful young lady.  You are smart and compassionate, always willing to help.  Your love for others shines in your beautiful smile.

You have struggled greatly with friends in the last year or so and my heart brakes inside when you share with me your hurt and how others have made you feel.  You need to always remember that you are different from them and that is why they don't always like you.  It won't always be easy but you need to remember

Matthew 25:35-40

³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

You are not better than those girls you are different.  No matter how hurtful those girls are they still need your love.  You don't have to be their friends but you need to still show them kindness and love just like Jesus would have.

Your daddy and I are so proud of you Ginny.  Keep shining on and keep showing God's love.

Happy 12 Birthday baby girl! 

Precious Visits

For months my mind would take me down horrible paths where mom was at her worst.  The times she fell in the bathroom and I was the only one dad would call.  The time where Blaine and I showed up before the Emergency Gala and she was so out of it that she couldn't even stay awake to carry on a conversation with us.  Or the last time she was in the hospital, only moments before she passed away.  For some reason every time my mind would go there I would let it and re live it over and over and over again.

It took time and coaxing from Blaine before I finally locked those pictures in a closet somewhere in the depths of my brain and opened new doors filled with happier memories.  It was when I did that, that I started dreaming of her.  Oh how I love her visits in my dreams.  They are usually very short visits and not always good.  I recently had a dream where she was scolding me.  I didn't wake up very pleasant that morning.  Blaine can agree with that.  Last night was the best visit of all though.  Please don't think I am a quack and that I "see" dead people.  :)  It was only when writing this that I refer to them as visits.  I will explain why, or rather you will soon understand but first let me catch you up on how last night came about.  

On Thursday morning at 6:00am Blaine pulled out of our driveway on his motorbike.  All that he took was enough gear to get him through a 4 day adventure, across the border, down twisty roads, and through the mountains with 17 guys and their treasured possessions.  So, for the last 3 days I have cleaned, purged, and organized.  I thought of him often and had a hard time falling asleep without him by my side.  Last night I especially struggled since I had my airbrakes course early this morning.  It was nearly 11:00pm when I finally began to fall asleep.  

As I laid in bed, my eyes closed, my breathing steady, sleep nearer and nearer, I was transported to the living room at the acreage.  As I looked towards moms chair I heard her laughter and there she was, sitting in her fav. chair, still in her p.j's and a smile on her face.  She laughed and said how glad she was that I was able to stop in for a visit.  I can't quite remember what we said but the conversation was long and filled with laughter.  She asked me how I was doing and talked about her birds and how she enjoys watching them.  The craziest part was that the whole time I was aware that I was not fully asleep.  Tears began to stream down my cheeks.  My breath was caught in my throat.  I willed her to stay.  She stayed, and continued to talk and laugh with me.  Soon though, she was gone as quickly as she came.  

As I laid in my bed, my pillow wet with tears I remembered the last course that I was in.  I resigned halfway through the course because mom had passed away only 2 days before.  Perhaps that is why my mind lead me to this precious visit.  God knew that without Blaine by my side, I needed my mom more than ever.   

It doesn't end there though.  My alarm was set for 5:15am but before it went off my dad and I were driving down the Buford road with a beautiful winter wonderland surrounding us.  As I looked out to the side, past my dad driving There was my mom, trudging down a snowing path with three of her greatest friends.  She smiled again and said "I know, I know, don't always rush me."  She then looked at me with a sarcastic expression like she usually did when Dad rushed her.  :)  I immediately woke up and realized it was 5:08.  I would wake up any morning before my alarm with a visit as precious as that one.