I Love Training!

So, it has been a little over a month that I have been in Firefighter training and I love it!

So far we have gotten to do an initial search attack in a dark, concrete room with our SCBA gear on.
We have taken our First Aid/CPR course,
learned different types of knots used for rescue and as an aid in transferring objects.
went for a walk/jog with our SCBA on,
Jogged up and down the hill by the river 3 times,
learned some rescue carries,
took part in maintenance a couple of times,
and still going. The plan is for us all to pass everything and get our pagers just after New Year.

I am looking forward to Saturday when we get to dive into the rescue part of it in more detail. We will be using the jaws of life, running hose and putting a vehicle fire out.

The parts I love ... I love the physical challenge aspect. I like seeing how much I am really capable of and the feeling of accomplishment afterwards. I love getting to know new people and being a part of a great team of community people. Although sometimes it is a real gong show I do love keeping busy.

The best treat though is Blaine and I getting to share our stories together that we experienced individually.

My road of Tranquility

I have lived in this area all my life. Of course in the day to day extremities of my life I have taken different routes to get me back and forth to the places I need to be. As I travelled one particular route this morning I was flooded with so many memories. This specific route is beautiful. It is the main route I take that connects me to the warm familiarity of "family" that I was born into and my own family that God has blessed me with.

As familiar as my road has become it changes on a day to day basis. The curves, the straights, the gully, it all remains the same but the surroundings change so often. Sometimes the crops are so golden that as the sun shines down you can't help but let your eye wonder across the vastness of it all. The sunsets and rises are always splashed with different colors. In the summer the road is so smooth that I am often tempted to soar a little faster than I should with the feeling of freedom under my foot. In the winter it is the exact opposite. Perhaps it is the dusting of snow that covers the fields, the ice layering the pavement or the standing deer, ready to run that slows us down.

This road has brought forth so many conversations. Some child's laughter, another's stories, or even ones tears. It has even been the dumping ground of an upset stomach or even a child in the throes of rage. This same road has even been marked with the harsh scars of fire,ironically the first fire that Blaine fought.

This morning my road was quite bare with the fields full of snow. The sunrise had taken its full position in the sky right in front of me. As I drove down through the gully I saw the familiar marked trees, bare and ready for the pending weather. As I turned a corner I saw three deer standing across the road, watching to see if I was headed their way. I couldn't help but think how this road resembles the road in life that I am travelling. Sometimes things are going great and we are soaring through life with no worries or fears. There are times when we feel hesitant about a change that we need to endure. Sometimes we stumble upon many winter storms were we feel like the world is out of control and we have nowhere to go. All the while we look ahead to the summer when the trees will continue to heal themselves or when God takes us in his arms and reminds us to lean on him and look full in his wonderful face.

I love Green Eggs and Ham!

I know, Most of my posts these days relate to our Malakai. Right now with the age he is at and the personality he has he just seems to be so entertaining. In fact we were just at a house party a few weeks ago when a friend of ours siad "so, tell me something that Malakai has said lately ... I just love that kids stories."

Stories, it's a good place to start...
Keegan loved his little board books and he loved to read to Ginny when she was born, a time when nothing out of his mouth really made sense. As he got older reading became a challenge. We have tried all kinds of books, reading to him, trying to get him to read to us. Reading is just not his thing. Ginny on the other hand loves to read. She has books upon books that she has already read and requests more on a weekly basis. The thing about Ginny is that she like to read by herself. Malakai is different, he loves to be read to. It doesn't matter who reads to him but please somebody read to him because he does not like to read the book himself. He is often found following someone with a book begging to be read to. Last weeks book, Green Eggs and Ham is by the infamous author Dr. Suess and is an old time favorite. We start, me reading one page and Malakai reading the next and so forth. I think I like it the most because Malakai is our little "Ham" always cracking a joke making us laugh.

Last night as I tucked him in he wrapped his little arms around me, holding me next to him on his bed. "Read me a story" he pleads. "Awe Malakai, not tonight, mommy is busy and needs to get stuff done." His disappointed little face looks into mine and instantly gets all serious. "Mommy, can you ask my teacher when we're going to Peru?" "Peru?" I asked. The only assumption that I can come up with is that they just learned about India in school so now it must be Peru. Malakai gets a smile on his face as he excitedly nods his head. "Wow, how are you going to get there? I ask. Are you going to fly?" Again he is so serious. "I don't know" he says, "my teacher never said."

Here is the thing about Malakai. Is he really concerned or is he just pretending to be. Does he really think he is going to Peru or is he just playing along. He is so great at what he does that even sometimes I don't know.

"Oh Malakai, how long are you going for? I am going to miss you so much." I chuckle as he takes his hand and plays with the fingers of my own. "I am going to miss you too mom." "Will you call me?" I ask. "I don't know" he says, "maybe, if they have a phone there." He replies. "Hmmm well maybe you can email me then." I suggest. "Maybe", He responds.

Then, before I know it, he hugs me again and says "I love you!"

No laughing, no "just kidding mom." Just a sweet meaning full "I love you!" Just as if he were really headed to Peru.

Even tonight around the dinner table he had the kids questioning us as to whether Malakai was really going to Peru or not.

I admit, he holds a special piece of my heart right in the palm of his hands. How could he not though?

Where does the time go?

Again I find myself admiring the kids and their little quirks. Each month is like a new deposit to my memory bank.

This weeks deposits ...

It amazes me how every night Ginny prays that we will have "a great time, and a fantastic time tomorrow." I wonder if she ever thinks "Wow that day sucked. God sure didn't answer me last night." Ginny is our athletic one. Every day after school she asks to go roller blading. We knew she wanted roller blades but we really had no idea at how much she would LOVE them. It amazes me at how well she made new friends in our area. What a sweet heart she has. Funny thing that she has troubles making friends at school though. When we ask her how come she can't seem to find anyone to be friends with out of twenty some students her reply is ... "Well, all the girls in my class just walk around at recess. No one ever plays on the monkey bars or the swings like I do." She was ecstatic to find that over a weekend they put up monkey bars and a swing set on the older kids side of the field.

Keegan got a snake on Sunday. His heart did a double beat when we finally, after years of begging agreed to buy him a corn snake. The only reason I said yes was because I felt so sorry for the salamanders that he was trying to keep. For some reason spending $5.00 a month on pinkies seemed more reasonable than $15.00 on crickets that died before they even made it home. He is still such an insect lover. Last night I was reading the bible and came across something about ants. I had to call him out of bed just so I could read to him and show him that God loved him so much so that he even put ants in the bible for him. :)

This is week one that Malakai has been on his medicine for ADD. It was a hard choice but after struggling for so long I decided we had no choice but to accept this and try whatever it took to deal with it. So far, it hasn't altered his mood or his apatite. The only thing it really altered is his sleep. This evening as I was banking online he proceeded to yell down the vent ... "Mom, I have a song to sing to you ... Then he proceeds to sing down the vent "Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart, I want see you." It was an awe moment for sure.

Tonight my memory bank is full and overflowing.

Crazy!!

I went and did something CRAZY!! I joined the volunteer Fire Fighters with Blaine. My interview was last week, I found out I made it yesterday and my first day of training is tomorrow. YIKES!! :)

Usually with something like this I am bursting at the seams telling everyone. Yet for some reason I have only told people at work and a few family members. Why am I so secretive? I think it stems from the fact that I am usually very concerned about what others think and I don't like to let anyone down. And I know, judging from reactions that I have gotten so far that some are not going to like this. Had I said that Samaritans purse is sending me to Japan tomorrow to help with a disaster, friends and family would be all over it. Sure they would be scared and leery but they would be offering encouragement, prayers and help.
Because I am doing something so risky by choice right here in our community I am afraid that I won't get the same response. Why do they not like the idea? Most of it stems from the fact that it is a "man's job", add to that the fact that we have three kids, and that I am stealing the thunder from Blaine.

A good friend of mine asked me a few questions, listend to my answers and put it into a great perspective for me.

While Blaine and I are part of the same team and are going alongside each other, doing something crazy together we are still unique and different.

My reasons for doing something like this is so that I can be there for someone in my community when they need someone the most. I want to help. Not all calls that come through are fire calls. In fact, most are not. There are EMS assistance, Motor Vehicle Accidents, River Rescues and so much more. I want to become involved. I want to build relationships. I want them to see something different in me and question what it is. We are all encouraged to become involved within our community, helping others and putting ourselves last. I want our kids to know that us "Anderson's" are always about helping others. It's when we take risks and get involved on a daring level that God stretches us and uses us in a different way.

Blaine obviously joined to help and be a part of the community as well but most of all he loves the adrenaline kick. :)

Blaine and I have always been a team and I think that is what makes our marriage so unique and strong. It is not a matter of copying each other or being jealous of each other. It is a matter of sharing the same passions and just loving the dynamics of working together.

As far as the kids go. Once a month Blaine is on call for one week, while I will be on call another week. Sometimes you can go your entire shift without getting one call. The training which is once a week will kill me I am sure. I am looking forward to the killing part as much as I am dreading it though. No better way to get into shape than to throw yourself into something such as this. So, unless there is a forest fire or a huge structure fire (basically an "all call" ) the kids will always be with one of us.

Am I scared? Heck yah!! Am I excited? Of course! Am I nuts? Well, I guess that is for you to decide.

A sence of "Newness"

Ever since our move, I have had this overwhelming felling of "newness". A new house, a new school, new routine, new season, new outlook on life, even a new smell. When your world flips upside down somewhat like it did for us this summer, you can decide to deal with irrationally by filling it with anger, resentment or depression. Or, you can keep putting one foot in front of the other and have faith that God will get you through. Perhaps that is my reasoning behind this newness. So many people are praying for my parents and us that it has given me a sense of peace and acceptance. At the same time, I have chosen to make things different for us. I have chosen to work harder at my relationships and I have chosen to work harder at seeing myself in a different more positive way.

Highlight of my afternoon and morning ~ Malakai and I were spending some one on one building lego. The whole time I was building, I was listening to him sing and mummble and tell stories. The whole time not knowing what on earth I was creating. All of a sudden he looks up at my piece of work and says ... "Awesome!! Mom that is great. Look, if I add it to this, it becomes a garage for my motor bike. So cool!" Who knew! :) Then this morning, it being grocery day our staples are low and we have very little time for creativity. So, in a mad dash I whipped up some muffins, threw a pizza in the oven, found a cheese stick and some fruit, threw on a pot of oatmeal and had breakfast and lunch taken care of. As I am upstairs getting ready I hear Malakai ... "Mom, you are awesome! You gave us all our food groups in lunch today."

What a way to lift a mom's spirits.

Wake me up from this bad dream!

Last night I dreamt that I went grocery shopping with all three kids. When I got to our grocery store, everything was changed. It was dark and dreary. Instead of greeting us, the lady at the door gave her condolences about my husband dying. I tried to go further but people were telling me that it was going to be hard for me to handle by myself and that things have changed so much. They were questioning my ability to do it "without my husband". I panicked and felt my throat tightening. I felt like life was swirling around and sucking the air out of me. I took one look at Keegan and in stricken panic I asked "Keegan, quick, what does dad always say?" Keegan looked at me with these large eyes full of fear. "I don't know mom" he said. "Keegan, I pleaded, what does dad always say?" Keegan looked at me so serious and mumbled " It's ok! We will get through this, we always do".

I woke up and felt the emptiness beside my bed and my heart sank. I leaned a little further and to my relief he was still there, sound asleep.

Today we got bad news. Dad's test results are back and his prostate cancer has come back. This time spreading to his spine and breast bone. It was hard news to take and I was surprised that I was taking it so well. "Was" being the key word. I took it well until Blaine walked in, returning from a fire call. Lucky for me, Blaine always makes it better.

As I kissed Malakai to bed this evening I was on the phone with my mom and dad together. Malakai asked Nana to sing him a song. I smiled as I could hear my moms song through the phone. Then when I leaned closer I heard my dad say ... "Malakai, do you want Opa to sing a song for you?" "Yes!" Malakai giggles. Then through Malakai's still chubby hands, through the tiny divice that makes distance disappear I could hear dad sing .."What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? Early in the morning."

My heart melted and I hung onto that ever so precious moment for as long as I could.

My Man

There is something about that man. The one that made my heart skip a beat the first time he kissed me. The one that makes me supper when I am completely done after an eventful day at work. The one that stows little love notes all over the house on our anniversary. There is something about the man that can't keep his hands from touching me, especially when I have cleaned all day and am wearing an outfit that doesn't match with my hair up in a bun. The man that holds me close and strokes my back as I shed tears of heartache. The man that bruises a rib by jumping on the trampoline with the kids. The man that says "you played good tonight" when I barely caught any balls and struck out twice. The man that I get excited to share a quick meal with before exams. The man that steals me away for a walk just to get me out of the house. The one that texts me during the day with "hey Beautiful, how is your day going? Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. There is something abou the man that as he walks out the door he says "see you later Beautiful." The one that leans in for a kiss each morning before he leaves and tells me to have a good day. There is something about the man that has stollen my heart and held it close to his for almost 15 years. That man is my husband, my companion, my soul mate and my best friend. I love my man.

Facebook

Facebook, it's full of ...

Boldness, low self esteem, hurtfulness, humour, sorrow, happiness, troubles, danger and so much more.

The innocent are hurt, the guilty are blamed, the needy are ignored.

Status' of every waking moment, he said - she said, how come you said that? Please delete that. I wasn't invited, why is she your friend and I am not? LOL's, ROFL's and some not worth repeating.

A moment where your business becomes everyone's business. A moment of sorrow realizing someone passed away and you were not informed. A moment of joy as you hear about a new birth.

Feelings of happiness, anxiousness, sadness, anger, jealousy, love, lust and hate.

I am not surprised of how many times someone has logged out of facebook with tears streaming down their face, and anger resonating in their soul. It is nothing new when relationships are sparked, causing real life relationships to be ruined.

Would you be my "friend" if I wasn't on facebook?
Would you still tell me that I made you mad or hurt you?
Would you still make fun of me or insult me?
Would you call me to wish me a happy birthday?
Would you write me a letter asking me how me and my family were doing?
Would you stop over for a tea?
Would you send me pictures of your family and your loved ones?

Or would you forget that I was once your friend and find another 368 to fill my spot?

A sad, sad dream

So here I sit, up one hour earlier than I need to be and my heart is broken. All because of a weird, wacked dream I had. I find the need to blog this since I have had one similar once or even twice before.

Blaine and the kids and I were off somewhere with his parents. We were all crowded around the campsite talking when something was moving under the motor home. We stepped back to take a look and this large Moose squirmed its way out from under the motor home and took off running. Odd as it may seem, this was normal in my dream. A bit later, Keegan was off walking/running and playing when another Moose scurries out from under the motor home. I say scurries like it was a mouse. It was not a mouse, it was a large, full grown Moose. This time though, the Moose goes straight for the kids. We start yelling for the Moose to get distracted but it heads straight for Keegan's gangly legs frolicking through the grass. Sure enough it reaches Keegan, swoops him up into the air and he falls into a mangled heap. I jolted myself into a subconscious reality and once my heart stops aching and regains its normal speed I start dreaming something else.

We are now headed on a journey with my parents this time. We are in a normal vehicle but on these crazy roads, like rides in Disney. This is where the dream starts that I have had before. Sometimes the roads are in a swamp and disappearing. Sometimes they are straight down like a roller coaster. My heart aches for Keegan because he doesn't like roller coasters and this was not intended. We are safe though and we make it to our destination in Jasper. In Jasper we attend a large dinner at some friends of ours. The Kalamoutsos's house is bustling with activity, and full of Greak meals. This time there is two dinners though. One dinner is hosted by a family from our current church. I hesitate, knowing that our family of five is on her list I opt out of the Kaus' dinner and go to the Kalamoutsos' with my parents instead. They always prepare more food than required.

While there I am sitting in a chair and in runs Peeka. She runs into my arms, snuggles up and is so excited to see me. Blaine and I look around in shock wondering where on earth she came from. I soon realize that her new owner has been invited to this party and that she decided to bring her. I am elated with Joy but filled with so much remorse for selling her. Then Peeka looks at me with big sad eyes and with out moving her mouth whispers. "I don't want to go back with her. I want you guys. You told me that there would be a dad that would play with me, and there is not."

I bolt myself awake and immediately break out in tears. What a silly dream. What a horrible dream. What a sad dream.

Obviously my heart is so torn for my family right now. I feel so bad for all this change that the kids are going through. I take it all as a burden on my shoulders. We probably could have stayed and purchased this house. The kids would have been fine with the cramped situation. It was Blaine that needed the garage and myself that would have like a larger layout without the kids next door. The kids could have stayed in the same school, feeling loved and secure. Is love and security going to get them through High School though?

I feel immense remorse for selling our little puppy today. I loved her. I really did. I just felt it wasn't fair that we weren't playing with her like we should. I gave her lots of love but not attention and she really needed attention. :( I just can't manage a full time job, a puppy and three kids all needing my attention.

Why do I keep dreaming about that roller coaster, swampy road and the going to the Kalamoutsos's "safe house" dinner?

God please take this burden away. Keep us all safe and protected and keep my puppy safe. :(

Jinx!

For months now we have been hearing "Jinx .. you owe me a coke." The game goes way back to when our parents, parents were probably kids. The rules have stayed the same except for the alteration here and there. So, every time you say the same thing as someone else you have to be the first to say ... "Jinx, you owe me a coke." The craziest it has gotten between our three is when they say "Jinx" at the same time over and over again. Poor Malakai was just getting the hang of it when Ginny comes home from camp and says the same thing he does. This time though, he is quick to reply "JINX!!" Then Ginny comes out with "Sorry, jinx machine is out of order, slap your face or give me a quarter. Poor kid.

Fire Fighters cling on

cling-on; friendly yet annoying
A term used for a social and academic loser who, in a desperate attempt to re-gain popularity, befriends an individual to the near point of stalking them.

There is a moment of pride and shear excitement when someone becomes a Fire Fighter. They stand in front of their new crew as the applauds erupt and they are handed their certificate of achievement. For the moment they hold it all in and act all cool, saving the unleashed enthusiasm for when they walk in the door and are greeted by their own personal entourage of family members. Then they proudly show off their new piece of paper and of course the beloved "pager". Little do they know that this wonderful, exciting "pager" is really a cling-on in disguise. For a brief moment their pagers are placed on a pedestal. They are fully charged, turned on and stared at like they were a prized possession. They are quickly attached to the hip in anticipation for the moment when a fire will beckon.

At first the pager is pure entertainment it's loud beeping causes everyone to stop dead in their tracks, only to sigh as they hear "Devon Fire, this is district ones pager test, 54321, 12345" and trust me when I say that thing can be loud. Dinner after dinner, everything and everyone comes to a complete halt, only to realize it is just a test. Finally when the real call comes everyone cheers with excitement as the Fire Fighter grabs everything he needs and runs out the door with his new friend at his side. Those who are left behind are left with the same adrenaline rush but with no more beeps or loud voices to let them know what is going on. Of course even the pager is allowed to break the rules. It doesn't matter what you are doing or what you have planned it knows just the right time to go off. It can interrupt church, prayer, birthdays, and even weddings. Turning your Dad, your husband, your son etc into a full fledged hero.

Soon the pager becomes a part of the family and you get used to it ... That is of course until the first time it goes off in the wee hours of slumber. Just when you are dead asleep dreaming some insane dream that loud beep beckons and by the time your heart slides down your throat back into position, your Fire Fighter is out the door and you are left wide awake wondering what the heck just happened. A couple of hours later you usually feel your spouse return and think "well that wasn't bad." Shhh don't think so loud. Before you know it, off it goes again taking your spouse away along with your sleep.

I confess, I saw this cling-on as something else. I was drawn into the trap of excitement when it went off and was glued to it's side as by mere fluke it was once left behind. Now though I see it for what it really is. A beckoning pain in the butt. :) It still jolts my heart when it's high pitched beep breaks the silence but I know that eventually my Fire Fighter will return and that I can always shut it off when he is not on call. :)

Melissa's Grad video

Grad photo shoot

On the side I sometimes do photo's for friends and families. Here is a Grad photo shoot that I did last night.

Best Birthday Ever

Wow! I have two posts in the brain so I need to catch up before it all disappears. After all, I am a year older now. The week before my birthday was kind of a downer so I had no choice but to try and make it good for myself. Tuesday night I went out and bought some Eggo waffles to make for the kids for breakfast so that they would be in better spirits when I woke up at least. It was a hit. Malakai explained that "he knew it was a special day" just because we were having waffles. It turns out that it was even more special because they were Eggo and not daddy's. Trust me when I say this though, Daddy's are far, far tastier and better for you than Eggo's.
I knew everyone at work had something planned since they told me to keep my birthday lunch free but I had no idea it would end up being that special. When they asked me to pick a restaurant I was immediately knocking out the ones I didn't want to go to. Trust me, this little town has two really good dinners but the rest can sometimes end up kind of sketchy. To my surprise we ended up at Earls in the city with more than a one hour lunch break. What an amazing time with friends. I felt so special and enjoyed myself immensely.
After work Karl came over with Ciera and we had dinner and a visit. Krista came all the way from edmonton to hand deliver a birthday card and present.
Then to wrap up my special day the "Hosers" had our routine Wednesday night game. That was also so much fun. Karl watched for a few minutes and when he left he yells out "Happy Birthday" Aunty. After that, every pitch they made, every run they made and every out we accomplished was for my birthday. I ended up making a few great catches and even a great hit. Everyone played awesome and ... We WON!!!!
Like I said, it was a super special day, with super special friends and family. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I truly felt like a princess.
I was greatly encouraged with the many unique and traditional facebook birthday wishes. I was blessed with the personal phone calls and the little added gifts that were dropped off or left sitting on my night stand.
In a time that mattered the most, God reached down and blessed me by letting me know that I am truly loved, cherished and valued. He also showed me how to make others birthdays just as special.

The bases are loaded and we SUCK!

Blaine and I joined the Fire Fighters baseball team and I will let you in on a little secret... we have never played on a team before, in fact we haven't really played ball at all. I don't think we are losing because of us though. Sure we make a lot of mistakes but it seems that there are others who make mistakes as well. So far our team has played 3 games and lost ... all 3 games. :( It is something that will take some practise and I am sure by the end of August I will finally know what I am doing and not fear the ball.

Like any sport, you learn something about yourself a little each time you play. Sometimes it is good things but more often than not it is the not so good things that make you either second guess yourself, hate yourself, or the exact opposite, feel a little proud of yourself. Take tonight for instance.
Tonight we played an obnoxious, rude, arrogant team called the "Wieners". Need I say more? I guess it didn't help that Blaine texted me earlier in the day and informed me that they too haven't won a game yet. Anyways the pitcher had this smile that I just wanted to smack off of his face and he would say stupid things to psych you out. Not to mention that the whole team was drinking and that they had their own personal set of rules. See, as you can tell this is the part that I hated about myself. I was so caught up in the fact that I didn't like them that I found myself voicing my opinions and being rude myself. They got under my skin so much so that I ended up second guessing myself and making stupid choices. Then, somewhere between the strike out and the out, out I took a step back and noticed others playing. They were playing just as bad as me. Some were cheering others on and some were throwing the bats and storming off to pout. It was then and there that I needed to make a choice and change my attitude. I needed to play ball and play it nicely. :) So, it's the last inning, the bases are loaded, I am on third and the batter cracks the ball. I leave third base and make a bee line right for home. All that is going through my head is ... DON"T TOUCH THE HOME PLATE!!! There right in my path the back catcher crouches down and catches the ball, but it is too late. I am not stopping and I bulldozed right through her knocking her flat on her side with me pinning her down.
That is when the proud feeling kicked in. :) I didn't intend to do that in the least bit but I have to admit ... it was a little fun!!

Somethings just stay the same.

I have a big confession to make ... For years I have been a tad on the OCD side. I have improved immensely, especially considering how bad I was when Keegan was born. I wouldn't doubt if half of his problems were because of the way I was in his growing up years. :) Take when he was just nearing two years old for example. I was a stay at home mom and I would often spend all my free time cleaning and organizing. In fact I did so much organizing that it was a common thing for people to stop in for a visit and make a comment about me re arranging the rooms or the furniture. Still to this day if something stays the same for more than 6 months it is something to boast about. Either that or keep quiet because saying something might cause me to want to change things.

I remember one day in particular though. I had cleaned Keegan's room and was just finishing up down stairs when Keegan so proudly toddled down the stairs and announced "Mommy, tome see, I dorganized my room". Fear clutched at my chest as he wrapped his pudgy little hand around my fingers and took the stairs one step at a time. When we reached his room everything in me wanted to scream. There in the middle of his room were all his stuffies, all his toys and all his books in one giant heap all piled on his favorite blanket. I can still see his big smile and his bright eyes as he was so proud of himself, all the while making me want to cry.

last week Keegan had no school for two days so he was at home alone. When I came home on my lunch break he met me at the door and was so excited to announce that he unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and he cleaned his and Ginny's bedrooms. My immediate thought was panic but when I looked at his masterpiece it was a bit of Joy, humour and sadness all mixed in one. I was joyful because the bedrooms were actually clean and he was capable of doing a good job. Humour because of his unique skill that he took in making sure it wasn't just clean but a masterpiece and sadness because once upon a time, 10 years ago a little boy was so excited to make his mommy proud and at that moment she was anything but.

Slave Lake

When I was younger I always wanted to help people. Throughout the years of getting married and having kids the passion may have faded but it never fully went away. Ever since "Be The Church" became our vision I have looked at what everyone else was doing and often felt a tinge of jealousy that I couldn't find my unique way of "Being the Church". It's funny really because even Blaine knows my passion but he ever so nicely informs me that he will not be moving to Africa any time soon. for a long time I have had this yearning and every time I heard of someones idea or someones leading I felt cheated and wondered what my calling was.

On May 15 most of us awoke and began our normal routine of getting the kids ready, having breakfast, reading the paper and what ever else we may do before going to church. Little did we know that in a few short hours a town four hours north of us would soon be facing panic and devastation.

To be honest I am so used to hearing about forest fires that I tuned out the "Slave Lake Fires" and never paid much attention. Soon though, the news spread and most were aware of the destruction this Fire Storm caused. Never once did the thought of helping out cross my mind. That is until the Friday morning before the long weekend when I checked my emails while getting the kids ready for school and myself for work. Samaritans Purse needed 20 volunteers to go to Slave Lake for Sunday. I immediately requested more information and talked with Blaine and other family members about going. Within a few short hours I was awaiting a reply from Samaritans Purse. With us leaving to go to Valley View for the long weekend there was little time to make sure that this was what I was intended to do however late Saturday I received confirmation and within 24 hours I was leaving Valley View and headed to Slave Lake. It was not an easy start. I got some mixed messages from people as to leaving our kids and the choice I was making. To top it off the minute I pulled out of the driveway the check engine light went on and a part of me wondered if these were all signs saying that I shouldn't be going. In determination I said a little prayer and told God that if he didn't want me going than he would need to make my truck actually stop running and not just warn me with a check engine light.

2 and half hours later I was approaching Slave Lake. At first I would see burnt forest and think "I've got to be close now" and then everything would turn green again for a fair distance. This would keep reoccurring and it wasn't until I approached the road blocks and saw the sings that read "God Bless You! We will rebuild" that I knew I had arrived. As I rolled into town it was like something off of an apocalyptic movie. Everything was hazy and the smell of smoke filled the air. As I looked to the right I could see a helicopter taking off with a fire bucket underneath and two other helicopters with the same buckets off in the distance. buildings, gas stations and stores were all closed. There were Esencial Service helpers everywhere. The hotels had dozens of porta potties outside because their sewer systems were down. There was no cable in the rooms and we were told not to shower or drink the water. At that point the threat of May long weekend being the end of the world became ever so real to me. I soon questioned what I was doing there and quickly thought of home.

The next morning I met up with the Samaritans Purse crew and learned that only 8 of us actually committed to coming. Their intention of us cleaning burned houses was quickly diminished and we were told that we would be stationed in logistics. I was kind of disappointed. I spend every day in the office I wanted to do something different here. I wanted to do "manly" work. We were given our bright orange T shirts and brought to one of many rooms in the Lake West College. As soon as I walked in, the room was bustling with activity. There were desks placed along the walls with huge sticky "post its" filled with numbers of Essential Services contacts covering every white, blank space available. Everyone had a phone and a job and was noisily at work. I was immediately put to work entering Data. There were RCMP road blocks and if your name was not on my list you were not getting through. I had stacks upon stacks of names to enter and people shouting out names to me, asking if they were on my list while more people were shouting out names that needed to be on my list mediately. By eight o clock we were finally done and headed to the Samartians Purse hotel room to talk about our day and to pray. In 4 days I put in 49 hours of staring at a computer. Lunch and Dinners were usually only 15 min if that and were sometimes eaten at our desks. Within my 4 days I went from Data entry to booking hotel rooms for Essential Services and Businesses to Housing which was filling out forms for families who lost their homes completely. Since families were not allowed into town I communicated with towns people very little. I did however get to work along side two very wonderful ladies one of which lost her entire house and car. It amazed me that they were there every day 8 hours a day with smiles on their faces. They were grateful to still have their families and the clothes on their backs.

On day two there was excitement running through the many offices as news was spread through out that while Fire Fighters were cleaning a certain basement they found enough pictures and treasures to fill a small box.

Occasionally Samaritans Purse would approach us asking to save a hotel room because another volunteer couple was on their way. later that day or even the next it was brought to our attention that they cancelled and decided not to come after all. Only two days in and two of our team members had emotional break downs and were sent back to their rooms to rest. The time that I spent with Samaritans Purse was very little but on the night before we left we had a short meeting and our team leader expressed how this was nothing like what he expected or what they intended for us and how proud of us they were for making the best we could in this situation.

At the end of the week as I was leaving town I was finally able to look around, to see the destruction, to see the events of the evacuation enfolding in my mind, to imagine what once was of this empty town. Some may wonder or ask why families didn't leave sooner. I have been pondering this lots lately. How does anyone pack their life away in a few short hours? How do you decide what is important and what is not? Something that means the world to me may mean nothing to you. How easy is it really to say goodbye to the house that you may have lived in all your life? Sure it is all materialistic things but these "things" are sometimes all anyone has or has ever known. Some may think there that there are tons of people helping so why do they need more? When I first sat down at that desk there were 1400 people let past the road blocks of the RCMP. 90% of those people were Essential Services - Atco gas, Waste Management, Telus, Water testers, animal control, firefighters and so forth. Out of 1400 people there was one team from Red cross and one team from Samaritans purse alongside towns people begging to help rebuild the town they once knew.



A part of me will always be in that make shift Logistics room surrounded by stacks of paper, sticky notes, phones ringing and people ordering obscene amounts of supplies . A part of me will always be with the amazing people and teams from Calgary that I worked alongside while part of me will always be here with you waiting to be used in the next destruction that will impact those we love.

Mothers day

Blaine asked me what he could do for mothers day. There was a mothers day brunch at church but I thought it would be nice to sleep in and enjoy a nice breakfast with the family instead. So I picked out a special brunch recipe and we bought all the ingredients for Blaine and the kids to prepare.

Now, there is always a standing rule in the Anderson family. If you have breakfast in bed you need to stay in bed till you are being served.

Here I was, mothers day morning sound asleep and I awoke to "Keegan don't be a dummy". That would be from Malakai of course. I tried to fall back asleep. I honestly did. Blaine blew his nose, and blew his nose again. Ginny was bouncing around, so much so that I felt the floor was going to cave in. Sleeping was just not going to happen. So, I finally decided to get up and sneak around down stairs, getting myself ready for church.  Amongst my sneaking this is what I heard.

Blaine - "Ginny, how does mom make a smoothie in the morning? I can't find the blender".
Ginny - "Dad she doesn't have a blender, she uses that long thing that you press and it goes grrrr". 

Keegan - "Dad, how is mom going to eat all of this? This is a lot of food".
Blaine - "Keegan, this is for everyone".
Malakai - "Oh yumm! I can eat it all for sure".

Malakai - "I get to bring it down to mom because she said so". For the record ... I said nothing of the sort. :)

This puts Keegan and Malakai into an argument

Ginny - "Guys, don't fight. Let's make this a really special day for mom".

Blaine - "what? Don't tell me we don't have ice in this place".

It was so funny to sit downstairs, straightening my hair, listening to it all. I admit, there were times that I thought of running upstairs and saving him but to be honest, I was enjoying it immensely. Soon Blaine sent Malakai downstairs to get dressed. When Malakai noticed I was awake he was going to blow my cover but I talked him into keeping it a secret. After he was dressed he ran upstairs and Blaine announced that it was time for someone to quietly go and wake me up.

"Mom!" Malakai shouted from upstairs.
"Malakai, I asked you to quietly wake her up" Blaine explained.
"Why? She has been awake for a very long time".

Were Back!!!

We had a great time filled with so many memories. Here are a few picks to give you a small taste of our fun. The surprise was a huge success and the kids had no idea. I will post the surprise video soon.

It's Showtime!!!

Malakai is asleep. Ginny is asleep, Keegan is in bed and it is only 8:10 pm. How on earth did I work that one out you ask? Well, you work late, get your hair done, come home later than usual and turn the clocks ahead by one hour when everyone is eating supper.

So far so good. They know nothing. :) Now I head to the tub to try and relax ( like that is going to work) turn off the phone and head to sleep ourselves. After all, 3:30 am comes mighty quickly.

I figured it out!

Usually when it comes to the computer and converting anything to it, or from it ... I suck! Usually I end up making a call to a computer genius (in my books) and he ends up trying his best to lead me step by step.

Our hardship this time was trying to convert a movie to PSP. After days and nights of struggling and trying and trying and trying we finally have successes. The best part, we didn't even have to bother Cam. We did it all by ourselves. :)

This morning I was so brain full that I even put a movie on my ipod.

YEAH FOR ME! It's a good day!

Wigs for Cancer

K, I just finished saying that we would not be cutting a chunk of hair off of Ginny's head and low and behold today she was at whits end with her hair and has been begging us to cut it. I finally caved and she got what she wanted. She also got the hairdresser to keep her hair so that she can donate it to kids who need wigs. I think the new look suits her.

Thats right!!!! 5 more days. The last time we went, Ginny was 4 and Keegan 6. We had the same intention (with no plan though) of keeping it a secret. Our secret lasted until the night before when neither one of us could take it and we spilled the beans. Ginny was so elated with excitement that she could not sleep. In her excitement I guess she figured she had to get ready for her trip (before bed) and was brushing her hair long beautiful locks with Nanna's roller brush. Needless to say, we ended up puling every little bristle out of that brush with pliers in an attempt to free a big clump of tangled hair. With no success and the clock nearing 10 pm we finally swallowed our pride and cut the brush out of her hair. :( We laugh now though but back then it was hard to do. The plan for going to bed at 8:00 quickly turned into 11:00 wich even quicker led to our 3 am wake up to catch our flight.

Fast forward 5 years and a couple of weeks and we are determined to not spill the beans. Same time of year, same flight and this time we hope to have everything in check by Monday evening and not to tell the kids until we are in line at the airport. At least this time we can guarantee that Ginny won't be missing a huge chunk of hair from the back of her head. :)

This obstacle is definitely a work in progress.

and another adventure begins ...

Blaine has finished his main course and a few extra's are already under his belt. It is official to say that he is now a certified volunteer Firefighter. :) Tuesday night he was assigned to a crew/squad ( I am unsure of the correct terminology) assigned a pager, handed a fancy certificate and now the life as a volunteer Firefighter has begun.

At first I was under the assumption that the pager was only used when he was on call, which wouldn't happen until late April. Apparently till he gets the idea and has experience of it all, he is asked to keep his pager on at all times and respond if he can. Saturday we have a birthday party to attend in the city and low and behold ... Blaine is on call. This means that Blaine is required to stay in town for that period of time. So, off to the party I go alone. :(

For a brief moment I thought of the training life as an EPS (Police) wife. How I attended lots of things by myself or by myself with the kids. That life can get hard and lonely at times. I see him differently this time though. Blaine is himself, even in training. NO stress, laughing, excited to take the kids and show them the firehall and the trucks.

I was surprised when he turned the pager off last night and said "tonight I am sleeping, regardless of what goes on."

This should be different this time around ... I hope things will be different ... I pray things will be different. :)

This is quite the journey we have been down and although there have been some ups and downs I am still enjoying it.

12 more sleeps :)

Shhh!!!! The kids are upstairs, the door is locked, the floor heater is on and mom and dad are .... Packing for Disney! :) 12 more days of the best kept secret. We are giddy with excitement.

Facebook withdrawls

Seriously!!! Today has been the hardest day for not going on facebook. So far I have thought of contacting 4 different people and I would call them or even email them if i knew their phone numbers. I often find myself thinking of status'. Today marks 16 days till we go to Disney. I would probably post something along the lines of packing or how proud I am of us being so secretive and how the kids still have no idea. I refuse to go on though. In fact while looking at the living socials deal I clicked on a picture and had no idea I was instantly lead to facebook until I went to look at the other product picture. I was only on for a few seconds and even though I had no idea ... I felt so guilty.

The Value of a Penny

A local Fields store is having a blow out sale. What most would consider a closing out sale is not in this case, it is just an attempt for them to clear out last years stock to make room for this years. However I think blow out is an understatement. Ridiculous would be a better term.

For example, I wandered in the other day to browse around. I found a pair of shorts for the boys. Really nice ones actually. $13.00 each is what the tag read. When I went up to the till, the cashier rang them in at $1.00. I seriously thought a mistake was made. After going back a second time to stock up for the summer a friend had told me she got some for one penny. Yup .01 Cent. for good quality, brand new shorts. A friend and I joked about me buying a bunch and consigning them to make a profit. I have to admit, the second time I went back, that was my motive.

Yesterday when I got home with another bag full, the look on Blaine's face was priceless. When I asked him how much he thought I spent he guessed $20.00. Nope I said proudly, 7 cents!!! "come on" he said. Then I proceeded to tell him how everything they don't get rid of in the next few days will go to good will. I was sickened that people who could really benefit from these penny deals were later going to be finding them for $5.00 at the local second hand store. I stumbled upon my own words as they were escaping my mouth. Blaine didn't even have to say it, for I was thinking it far earlier. I just bought up these shorts in a plot to sell them for 10X the cost so that I could benefit from them. It was then that the Mustard Seed came to mind. A friend of mine volunteers there on a regular basis. I quickly called her up and asked if there were kids that came by the shelter. Her reply startled me. One boy in particular has been by a few times. Size 6 or 7 was her reply when I asked her what size she thought he was in. It just so happens that size 7 was the size I bought. It was settled, I was going back for more and I was going to donate them to the Mustard Seed.

Today the minute I was done work, I headed to Fields. Today's attempt was to purchase clothes for adults. The store was fairly busy (5 customers instead of the usual 1). As I gathered items to find out which ones were on sale and which were not I was a little flustered and embarrassed. Once I was there and had a pile of clothes that only totaled .10 cents I began to see the store differently. I wanted to gather every item that I possibly could. The more pennies I could round up, the more items I would purchase. When I finally headed out to the truck I glanced down and saw a penny sitting by my lip gloss. Before, my thoughts would have been nothing .... it is a penny, what can a penny buy? Today it was a shirt or a pair of shorts or a sweater, a smile and a warm body.

Who knows how these people get to a point where they can't afford a meal let alone clothes or a place to live. Some my say they asked for it, they chose it. Did they chose it though? Did they really ask for it? As I walked in the house hauling my extra large, bag full of clothes that I purchased for only 12 cents I felt helpless. What I have to offer is so little ... there is a store full of clothes down the street and all I have to offer is one extra large bag.

40 days of lent

For lent I have decided to give up facebook. I could have given up blogging, email and everything else relating to the internet but that would be a little extreme. I chose facebook because it sometimes causes a riff in my feelings and emotions. It is easy for me to get my feelings hurt, get sick of family and even sometimes jealous. So no facebook for me. Trust me, this is HARD, especially on a Saturday. I would have gone on at least a million times by now but I am hanging in there. The one thing I miss ... communication!! It is funny how no one ever emails to see how you are doing or what you are up to. It is amazing how no ever uses the simple method called the telephone anymore. I am just as guilty though. We will have to see what becomes of facebook when I am done with Lent.

Princess Leia

Malakai loves going to Miss Amy's house after school and especially loves being a clown in front of 2yr old Isaac. Apparently Isaac's nickname is "Pooper". My thoughts ... poor kid :) Not exactly sure if Malakai gave him that name or not but either way, it has now become Malakai's favorite word.

This morning while I am straightening my hair, Malakai sneaks in to brush his teeth.
"Hi Pooper" He says. "Is it all right if I call you Pooper?" He asks

"I'd rather not be called Pooper." I reply. "How about Princess"

"I know, I'll call you Princess Leia?" Malakai says.

"Princess Leia" I ask. Something about being a Star Wars princess just doesn't appeal to me. "How about Cinderella?"

"No" Malakai replies, as he rubs my back. "you are Sleeping Beauty" I was honored to be Sleeping Beauty. But the honor didn't last too long. When I was finished my hair I looked at Malakai and asked "how do I look?"

"You look like Princess Leia" he says, and walks away.

These kinds of conversations are always a mothers dream thus my reasoning for blogging it. I love looking back and seeing the great conversations that I have had with my children. They have become stories for the future. This story does not end here though.

As we are dropping Malakai off at school I holler out the door. "Have a great day my messy hair man" (today is bad hair day at school.)

"No, I am not messy hair man, I am king messy hair and you are my princess Sleeping Beauty."

So while I am kind of confused on exactly who I am today. I know that I am a Princess in the eyes of my King.

World Water Park ~ A love/hate relationship

There was a time, when our kids were quite little and we were invited to the waterpark once and awhile. Unfortunately every time we went one or two of the pools/slides were closed due to a malfunction in someones plumbing which resulted in contaminated water. One time this happened at least three times while we were there. From that point on I vowed to never go to to the water park again. Well fast forward a few years and we decided to give it a whirl. We had fun. Keegan was quite scared and would only go down one slide and that one I literally had to drag him down. Malakai was so tired at the end of the day that he actually had an accident during his sleep that night. The best of all ... NO pool closures.
Yesterday Blaine's company bought all the families tickets and lunch to the waterpark. Because it wasn't that long ago that were just there Keegan was more daring to try out some other slides. I was so proud of him. He even went down one that was pitch black. He is finally learning to trust. He still will not trust Blaine though and that stems from his first roller coaster ride years ago in Disney. All in all, it was an awesome day however, they had a pool closure and I couldn't help but cringe. Once again, Malakai had an accident during the night and low and behold we are all coughing, plugged up and sick today. Would I do it again though? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

She is sick of leaves

A conversation after picking up Malakai from school.

Me - Malakai, your teacher is Mrs. Pittman right?

Malakai - yup!

Ginny - I thought it was Mrs. Pocha

Me- It was but Mrs. Pocha went on sick leave

Ginny - What is sick leave?

Malakai - Hmmm I guess it means she touched some leaves or something and it made her sick.

LOVE IT!!!!!

My hugs have returned

I am not a Physical Touch kind of gal. As a child I loved giving hugs. I was a hugger in every way. I don't know how it disappeared or if it will ever return but one thing I have relished in was the hugs from my children. When Malakai was a wee one he loved to give hugs. He was always wrapping his chubby little hands around my neck and squeezing. Sometime in Malakai's younger years the hugs went away. Malakai hit a stressful time in his life where he was angry, frustrated, and sad. His favorite line was "you broke my heart." He wore his teeth down to nothing from grinding and even now has little to no teeth in the front. Not because he lost them like most kids his age but because he clamps down on them and works away at them daily. While there is nothing I can do about the grinding, I did take him to a Homeopath and found that his Copper level was extremely low. Fast forward a few months and it brings us to last night.

Blaine and I usually never fight. We don't usually bicker in front of others, but neither are we perfect. Last night we had a big argument and unfortunately it was in front of the kids. Right in between it all, Malakai jumps on my bed comes over to me, wraps his chubby little arms around my neck and gives me the softest, reassuring hug and then he kisses me.

That one hug brought me back to a time when snuggling came so natural to him, that one hug brought my Malakai back to me. So, while arguing was not the right way about it, and while it was not something we wanted to give our kids front row seats too. It made me realize that life is too short to bicker over stupid things and when you think no one is watching, someone always is.

Wednesday morning update

I figured that with Yesterday being such a good day I should probably post something now incase today goes down hill.
So, the mountain of laundry is almost done. This is a big thing in our house seeing as we usually need to do a load a day otherwise everyone is soon out of underwear, socks and any thing else that matters when it comes to dressing ... Hold that thought.

Well, it was a great idea for me to post about yesterday now because it is only 6:45 am and the upstairs toilet decided to plug and literally flood. so much for my caught up laundry.



Blaine is doing well with Fire Fighting Training and really enjoying it. He took a safety course and scored the highest out of the class, getting only two questions wrong. Had he got those two right he would have been the first to receive $500.00 so he did pretty darn good if you ask me. He gets his first controlled fire experience this Sunday.



Ginny loves babies! Since the Dolsky's have had another baby she gets to pour all of her love on toddler Izzy and all her snuggling on baby Eden. Just last week she babysat for her very first time. While 9 is still quite young I felt confident in her watching some school aged children while they slept and their parents and us were just down the street. She was so excited to make $15.00. I love her maturity when it needs to be shown and her genuine kidness when we are alone in our home. Ginny can't wait to save enough money for a DS.



Malakai loves quality time and alone time hand in hand. On Monday morning it was just him and Blaine and I and it was us who had to ask him if he wanted to play. Of course he wanted to play Wii but I ended up convincing him of Lego instead. He surprises me every time with his creativity. The kid is amazing at what he can create. He is always showing us space vehicles, with unique contraptions. He is so much like is daddy in so many ways. He loves crazy ride, he loves crazy sayings, he has a crazy temper (as I am listening to him tell his brother he hates him right now) and he is just crazy all around.



Keegan loves junk food and only junk food. I am a super smart Mom and know how to manipulate my son when it comes to food though. Take fish for instance. Keegan dislikes fish with a passion. Keegan loves cheese though, especially the stinky stuff that goes on Spaghetti. So, I found fish with parmesan cheese. What Blaine thought would be grose turned out very yummy and worked like a charm. Keegan loves spending time with us on the Play station, watching a movie or playing mancala or chess. while we are going through some tough pre teen days he is still very loveable, pouring the love on his dogs and family when he wants too.

Well, that leaves me. I have been working hard on the physical side of things. Seems like Jillian Michaels 30 day shred is a hit with some friends of ours so I have been working out for 20 minutes each day, five days a week. It is especially great having encouragement and friends to work out with. Sometimes I miss a day or two but usually fill it with things like .... a 4km hike in the snow. Crazy!!! I can feel a difference in my endurance and Blaine says I am firming up but so far no loss in pounds. Frustrating but I am going to stick with it. Besides working out, tea with friends, spending time with the kids, and killing Zombies with Blaine I am up to nothing else. After all where would I fit anything else in. :)

Five Love Languages

Have you heard about the five love languages? In case you haven't, they will follow.

It seems like the five love languages subject is popping up everywhere for us these days. When Signing up for classes in Breakforth two of the classes were the five love languages for kids and the five love languages for teens. Blaine and I thought it would be cool to sign up for one and learn the love language that our kids speak.

But what about us? Well, years and years ago we took the quiz ourselves. I can't even remember what the results were, all I remember was getting a kick out of the fact that quality time was at the bottom of both our lists. :) February is the month for love and apparently everyone is on the same page. In February our church is having a Love Language date night for couples. It will be a fun evening with dinner (I think) and a fun way of learning the language of Love that our spouse speaks. I thought it would be fun if I took a guess at which love language everyone speaks in our little family and see how intuitive I am. So, here goes.

Blaine - Physical touch. He is always wanting a hug, wanting to cuddle, wanting me to tickle his back.

Keegan - A strong lead for Gift receiving and physical touch. Keegan loves to surprise everyone with gifts and usually what they want they tend to give. Of course physical touch is either an addiction trickled down through the generations or something that he actually likes himself.

Ginny - This is a tough one she loves to go on dates one on one but at the same time she like to encourage and and gives lots of hugs. Seeing as I need to pick one, I think her strongest would be words of affirmation.

Malakai - Another difficult one. I think he is still a little young to really see his love language but it I would say acts of service or quality time. That little man is always offering to help. Just yesterday when we were really, really stuck he said ... "Mommy, I can push us out."

Myself - I think my language would be words of affirmation and receiving gifts. I love Christmas when there are all kinds of surprises in the mail boxes and on my desk. I also really feel a lot better about how things are going when people encourage me.

So there you have it. Now I guess I just wait and see how off or how close I really am.

If you are interested in coming to our LOVE LANGUAGE date night just let me know and I will get you more details. Everyone is invited and tickets are $10.00/couple.

The Five Languages of Love
Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

And finally,

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.