Blaine and I have decided to sneak away and just relax for a week. It was a decision that was made when I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I am looking forward to nice weather, beaches and the ocean.
I am amazed at how songs, stories, smells, and even people remind me of mom. I can see change in myself and not all of it is good but I do see life through a different lens. Sometimes realization hits more than I would like and I almost panic, thinking that I will never see her earthly image again.
I can't believe how blessed I am to have so many loving, caring people surrounding me and supporting me. Even today I checked my mail box and was reminded by a dear friend that she is thinking about me and praying for me. I could not have gotten through this as well had I not had the support that I do. I am so thankful for all of the cards, meals, thoughtful notes, gifts and gestures that have been poured upon our family.
Life goes on though and there are celebrations to be made ... without her. I received a copy of an email that was sent to the Chief of the DFD requesting that I get my recruit stickers removed. This is a huge sign of growth within the department. My sister and I had lunch with dad today. I made them egg salad sandwiches with chips and a bowl of ice cream. We had our secret sister wrap up tea this evening. I planned on sharing something about how important it is to be and have a secret sister. I was holding it together quite well until someone sang a mash up of some songs and one was a favorite of moms. I choked up while speaking but It was nice to be with "sisters" who understand and can relate to my tears. I enjoyed the time of laughter and sharing.
It is good to be able to move into another season. Greatly needed.
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