Humble Pie

Unfortunately parent teacher interviews and report cards are never the highlight of our year.  This time as I sat in the little circle of the gym with teachers all around me I felt like a failure as a mother.  Missed assignments, poor exam marks and a lack of participation were the ingredients to very poor marks.  Of course it has to be our fault because for the last two years of interviews all we have heard are how pleasant our kids are and how they always have a smile on their face.  Why that smile is saved for the outside world and not us is beyond my understanding.  Parent by parent made their way up to these teachers with smiles on their faces and laughter in their voices.  I wanted to explain myself.  I wanted to have a reason why our children don't have awesome marks.  I wanted to ask them if they had a yelling match with their kids before they left for these interviews.  I wanted to share all the reasons why my child was struggling and why I just couldn't find the time night after night to explain what should have been explained in the classroom.  I wanted to get angry with the teachers, having someone to blame expecting more from them just like I expect more from my children.  I thought of pulling my kids out of school  then and there and telling them we were done for the year.  But then what good would that do?  We would only end up worse off than we are now. So one by one I watched and waited.  Its a silly process, having interviews with your child out there in the open.  The whole school system is stressing me out with all the changes that are taking place.  I fear for my children as they struggle right now.  I have prayed often that we would make the right choices for our children when it comes to school but I have often felt like my prayers were not being answered.  What will happen to them in the next few years when the changes really begin to happen?  They are so far ahead that they will be extremely effected.    I couldn't handle it anymore.  I had to get out of that fish bowl.   Finally it was our turn.  I put up my front and braced myself to be strong and firm.  From the moment we sat down I knew that something was different.  This time the teacher was holding our child accountable.  It was as though she were sitting in our living room listening to our feisty child express their feelings prior to the interview.  This teacher explained how we are a team and right now it may seem like its all about rules and regulations but the real truth is that our child should feel lucky to have parents like us.  They should be glad that we care enough to show up to these interviews and to make sure that they have their homework done.  They should know that our harping of being organized and responsible is only stepping stones to better their future.  Shortly after that we met with another teacher who greeted us by extending their hand and formally introducing themselves.  My initial thoughts on this teacher were wrong and I was sincerely, inwardly apologetic.  Once again our child was held accountable.  They were called out for the smirk they were wearing on their face.  It was no longer seen as a happy smile but a smirk that showed that they knew that the teacher was right.  That the behaviour shown at school was nothing like the behaviour at home and that this behaviour was uncalled for.  This teacher explained something that we have always told our children.  A teachers job is to teach in the classroom and to make sure the student understands.  A parents job is to go to work, and make a living to provide a safe environment for our family.  The students job is to go to school and learn.  Of course coming from a teacher rather than a parent makes it a whole lot easier to understand.  This teacher held our child accountable with a contract that was signed by all four of us with goals that had to be met by the end of June.  The last time I heard or experienced anything like that was when I was in grade school and my principal threatened to strap me because I cheated on my school work.  I was not expected to see these teachers join us and stand with us.  My prayers felt answered and I felt like I was not as alone as I had initially thought I was.  I was basically served a large slice of humble pie.