Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so sensitive.  Sometimes I wish that I didn't toss stupid things I say and do over and over in my head.  I wish that stupid things didn't get under my skin and bring me to tears.  Sometimes I wish I was more like a turtle where I could just duck my head in my house and not worry about what others think of me.  Sometimes I wish that I could just brush things off and not care if they were intended to hurt me.  I wish that I didn't read into others actions so much.  Sometimes I wish that I wasn't quick to open my mouth and share what is going on in my head.

Sometimes I wish that I were somebody I am not.

A prayer for Avery

On October 7, 2010 I opened my heart and amongst many, many others prayed a prayer for Gideon who was born with hypophosphatasia  Nothing shy of a miracle could save that babies life ... but God heard our prayers and he did just that.  God performed a miracle and today Gideon is a normal, healthy, crawling, squealing, rambling 16 month old.

This is Avery!  I wrote about her a couple of posts ago and even though is has been a couple of weeks since I learned of Avery's news I am still just as upset about it.   Avery is 14yrs old and recently found out that she has Ewing's Sarcoma.  Avery always held a special place in my heart and has touched it in so many ways.  There isn't an hour that goes by throughout the day when I don't think of Avery.  Tears sting my eyes when I look at her sweet face and imagine the pain that she is going through. My heart aches when I read her mom's email updates filled with openness on exactly how they are feeling.  I feel so helpless.  I can't even fathom how this could happen.  The MRI's have shown that the cancer remains in one area.  Today Avery had a bone marrow biopsy and they are awaiting the results.  Tonight Avery starts a very long process of Chemo.

I pray that through all of this, Avery will be surrounded with peace.  I pray that the Chemo going in will do it's job and flush out of her body before even a symptom will be felt, and that every strand of hair on her head will remain.  I pray a protection over every single healthy cell in her body, and that her bone marrow will go untouched.  Most of all, I pray that Avery's health will return, the cancer will diminish and the sparkle in her eyes will remain.   May God provide Avery with a long healthy life just like he has begun with Gideon.  

If you were to walk into my house right now you would have no idea that I was home all day.   Tonight you would find an entry way scattered with soggy mitts, wet snow pants and pieces of scattered snow.  A box of unmatched socks would welcome you as you sat on the couch amongst the bits and pieces of the new 'lego friends' who are visiting the 'pirate of the Caribbean' gang.

If we found the time to indulged in some adult conversation I am sure we would be quickly interrupted with the buzzer update of the current hockey game score coming from the ipod charging on the floor, and of course I would have to warn you that you will most definitely find a half a dozen cowboy, sniper, dart or pistol guns scattered between the bedrooms and living spaces, and don't be surprised if you find the odd piece of laundry lying about or even dirty dishes in the sink.

The part that you would have missed is watching kids play some military game outside in the snow while the two youngest kids played Lego together.  Your life may have been even better and fuller knowing that your favorite team lost yet another game.  Did you notice the walkway shovelled clear for your visit?  Or the play room now a bit more neater.   The best part will be tomorrow when at three different instances all three kids will go riffling through that box of unmatched socks filled with frustration as they 'can't find one pair'.  Now close you eyes and smell the faint hint of freshly baked cookies or hear the soft noises of someone playing in bed as they try and fall asleep.  Now you understand why my house is a shambles even after I didn't work today.  :)  Thanks for the visit.