One more thing to LOVE

Six years ago ... My first born turned 9 years old and I was taking the biggest leap of my life.  My baby wasn't even in Kindergarten and I was no longer going to be his daily playmate.  My life as a stay at home mom was ending and for the first time in my life I was embarking on an actual CAREER!  Back then ... My world was small.  I was excited with serving as a church secretary, being the go to person, the voice on the other end of the phone.  I had no experience at all,  yet by the grace of God I was given an opportunity.  Overnight I became a book keeper, and a secretary, and I loved it!

Fast forward to six years later and as I reflect back to what I have accomplished, what I have achieved, and what I have become, I can't help but smile.  Had someone told me then that in two years I would be jumping into a farm truck and driving to Lesser Slave Lake to serve others and stay in a hotel by myself I would have shook my head and said "Heck No!" The day I volunteered to help Samaritans Purse I was filled with uncertainty and fear but the people I met, the time I spent and the things I did made me love it!  If you had told me that eventually I would stand by my husbands side on a volunteer fire department (running into a house fire instead of going out) I would have laughed at you.  I will always remember the thrill I got when that pager went off.  The house so hot that the coffee on the table was bubbling, and holding the hand of a man that was seriously broken in pieces.  The good and the bad ... I loved it.  If someone would have told me that in just 4 short years I would be saying goodbye to my mom, and then my dad ... I would have pulled the covers over my head and refused to let another day go by.  Yet, by grace again, I made it through.  I cherished the moments I spent with both of them as I cared for them, curled up in the hospital bed watching tv with them, or reading to them.  Those were tough moments but I loved them.  Now, had you, or anyone I know told me all of this, and then told me that I would become an EMR and work for the city of Edmonton. I would have asked an E - M what?

Like I said, my world was small.  It didn't include logistic rooms, fire trucks, hoses, and blood.  To me those things were impossible.  Fortunately my plans are not up to me.  Of course I could stay as an admin assistant until I retire.  Being safe, working at a desk, within driving distance to my kids when they need me, being home each week night to have supper with my family.   If I did though ... I wouldn't love it.  The day I chose to follow God is the day I chose to follow his plan for my life.  Its not easy and its not like I have a crystal ball, knowing which path to take and when to just sit idle.  Its the people that have been put in my life, the ones that show me grace when I fail, the ones that listen when I struggle, the ones that hold me dear to their heart, lifting me up when I am weak.  Its the people that I have worked with along that way that have inspired me, taught me, helped me, and encouraged me.  Its the events that happen ... All this is a plan, my plan that I have no clue about, but that I trust I am not alone in.    

So, as I take the pictures off my wall, as I strip the name plate off my door, and as I close the door to everything familiar and what once was ... I step into a new world ... A much larger one, with new beginnings, new fears, new unknowns.  I am scared!  I will fail!  I will succeed!  I am excited, and I LOVE IT!!!



I believe we get more than just one thing to love, and one day something will click and you will know you found it.  I have to believe that.

Today I am flying!!!

Those who know me well, know that in the last two years I have cried more tears than I have in my entire 37 years.  I have pushed myself beyond limits that I didn't even know existed.  I have faced many fears, and have changed entirely.  I have laughed so hard that I couldn't catch my breath, and I have hurt so bad that I have felt as though someone were ripping my heart out.

All these emotions and roller coasters have left scars on my general appearance and my health but on the inside they have made me stronger.  I have had some amazing friends take my hand and quite literally hold me up when I just couldn't go any further but in it all I have learned that when the ones you care most about are gone forever, God will always remain and he is there to pick up the pieces.  He knows far more about me than I will ever understand.  He brought those friends into my life when I needed them the most.

I couldn't have done it without them.  So many times I wanted to give up, so many times I had no faith in myself but each and every time God was working through someone cheering me on, giving me the strength I needed, telling me I could do it.

The last three years have been an uphill battle, one right after the other.  I know the battle is still going on but today with the biggest achievement of my EMR Provincial marks coming in,  I am flying.

    

I swear officer, we are an honest family!!!

Anyone who knows our Keegan knows his LOVE for insects and animals.  After 14 years of his passion it can be overwhelming at times.  Take 4 months ago for instance ... All the Anderson kids and their cousins were on holidays, rounding up slugs, larva, dragon flies, and yes even large toads.  It was entertaining to say the least and it was something that even I did as a child.  Keegan however can never part with his "friends" and always wants to invite them home.  Even after explaining that they can't be let go in our eco system and on and on and on ... He still insisted that he could provide a nice home for his new toads.  Let the record stand right now that I plain out said NO!  I don't have a problem being the bad COP in the family, after all ... I know it will save me heart ache and frustration in the end.  Well, fast forward to this fall.  Keegan (the owner of two BC toads) started grade 9 in a new school with a teacher who was just as passionate about the eco system and the animals that it contained.  Unfortunately he is a little extreme and told Keegan that he can NEVER, EVER let the toads go.  Ever was a hard word for us.  Especially since with all the windows being shut now, those darn toads were really beginning to stink.  And, unfortunately Keegan's heart was taken by a new little lizard friend in the pet store.  So, like most moms out there I set forth a plan.  We would buy the lizard and hide him in our closet while PLAN A - We try to give our toads away or PLAN B - If no one takes them by Christmas we can send them back to their original home with Aunty Corey. Should have just gone with plan B.  So I (not Blaine but ME) put an ad on Kijji, explaining that they can not be let go.  It was a long shot anyways and no one responded so I (once again, just me) decided to go with PLAN B but forgot to delete the ad.  Well yesterday (the night before Christmas Eve) Here I was ... At work, working with gmail when I noticed on my gmail account a reply to my ad.  First thought ... Oh shoot, I forgot to delete that ad.  Then I notice my reply was from a Fish and Wildlife officer - Tammy, can you please call me?  Second thought ... Are you stinking kidding me?  I know they are from another province but seriously???? I reply ... " It's all good, they are going back to their original home the day after boxing day."  And I carry on with work.  10 minutes later ... a second email "Tammy, please call me."  Third thought .. Oh my goodness.  Am I in trouble?  I have five minutes left of work.  I will go home, explain this whole thing to Blaine and then get him to call.  :) So I packed up from work, shut everything down loaded my two work kids in the truck and we headed home.  Just as I rounded the bend into our cul de sac I noticed THE TRUCK!  A Fish and Wildlife truck to be exact.  "Just stay in the truck!" I tell the kids.  I walk inside and Blaine is cooking supper while Keegan is sitting at the table, glued to his lap top with his earphones on."  "Does no one notice the the Fish and Wildlife truck outside?" I ask.  "Yep", Blaine says.  "He came to the door and asked if we had toads from BC here.  I told him yes and he asked what species they were.  I told him I had no clue so he took them to his truck and is looking them up now."  Moments later the officer returns and proceeds to tell us that collecting ANY animals in ANY province is an offence.  Bringing them across to another province is another offence and since Keegan is under age we are responsible for his actions therefore held accountable for these offences.  I was honestly waiting for the handcuffs to come out.  And ... Apparently not knowing any better is not an excuse in the court of law.  Instead of giving us fines of up to $5,000.00 and charging both of us we were handed 2 warning tickets and our names were added "to the system."  So, the officer took with him two toads and gently closed the door.  The minute that door closed we had anger, we had embarrassment, we had sorrow, we had every kind of tear you can imagine.  Not just from one child either but from all of us.  The only way to salvage the evening was to take Keegan into our closet and unveil the hidden lizard Christmas present.  Lessons learned?  I think so.  1.  NEVER say yes to new friends, especially foreign ones.  and 2. Big Brother is the real deal.  All I had on that ad was my postal code and my name.
I still can't believe all of that over 2 toads.  Can you imagine if he would have asked to search the house and found a lizard in our closet.  We would have really looked suspicious.  Oh the joys you bring to our lives dear Keegan.  :)