A Fathers Love

I knew you the moment you became a thought. I was there when your lungs began to work and your heart beat for the very first time.

I was filled with anticipation as your features began to form and your movements became more evident. I willed you to eat and sleep knowing the best to make your way into this world. From that first moment, I knew the heart ache you would feel, and the pain you would endure but I also knew the joy you would experience and the many excitements life would bring.

I was there the moment you cried your first cry and when you took your first breath of air. I was there as the ones who waited so patiently for you, surrounded you with unimaginable amounts of love.

I waited so long for your first smile and that special gleam to show in your eyes. My heart exploded the first time you erupted with laughter and your breaking grin exposed those first two teeth. I watched in amazement as you took your first steps and reached out with so much trust to those who cared for you.


It wasn't hard to see how strong willed you sometimes were. You were so determined to do your own things in your own ways. I knew the times you would listen and the times you had to learn from experience.

It brought tears to my eyes the moment you knelt by your bed and said your prayers for the very first time. I was overjoyed to hear you sing songs in Church and praise God where ever we went.

I tried to calm your fears the first day you were off to school. I hurt when you were made fun of and when no one wanted to play with you or when your name became the laughing matter for the day.

I wanted so bad to hold you in my arms when you refused to be held, when you hurt so bad that you couldn't imagine going on. I wish you would have heard my still quiet voice when I tried so hard to stop you from hurting yourself further. I stood right beside you even though I was the last person you wanted to think of. I was there, everywhere, waiting for you to notice me.

I stayed, I waited, I wept, with you and for you. I watched as everyone who cared so deeply for you begged, pleaded and prayed for you to find your way. I knew that some day you would return.

I was filled with such joy when you once again understood my love for you. When you understood it was not intended for you hurt so deeply. We all wept for joy the day you closed your eyes and lifted your praises once again.

I saw the miraculous plan for your life unfolding as you waited for your true love to join you at the alter. I understood the joy building inside as you began your life together. I was there when when the family you always wanted just wasn't there or when you just couldn't see eye to eye, I was there when you shared the excitement and anticipation that you waited so long for as you found out your own child was on it's way. I was there when you shouted for joy and ran out of the room showing your new bundle of life in your arms. I was there ... I have been there the whole time.

I made all the delicate, inner parts of Your body I knit you together in your mother's womb. I loved you the moment you became a thought.





By ~ Tammy Anderson