I don't want to do my homework!!

First the stomach flu for Ginny then Malakai.  I hate going out in public when there is a chance I have a bug.  I hate puking let alone in public or when I have to ask someone to pull over so I can toss my cookies.  Unfortunately last weekend I had no choice but to face my fear.  I had a very important fire course which threw me in a vehicle at 7am and didn't allow me to return until 5pm.  Surprisingly enough, I did it and I survived.  A day or two later Keegan got sick and amongst them all Blaine had a day or two.  I hung in there, Studying, and spending hours at the hall donning and doffing my gear in less than 2 minutes.  Tomorrow begins the last two days of this class with a lot of physical stuff and the final exam.  I still have chapters left to read and I just finished two hours of donning and doffing.  I am proud to say though that I got all my stuff on in 1minute and 21 seconds. WOOO HOOO!! It's 9:47 pm and all I want to do is soak in the tub, crawl into bed and watch a great movie.  I want to sleep in and wake up to the smell of waffles and the sound of kids watching morning cartoons.  But I can't!  I need to go upstairs, get my p.j's on and hit the books once again.  If a fire call comes in before 1am I will have to shoot back out of bed and answer the call only to wake up again at 6:00 when the house is silent and fast asleep to once again prepare for a grueling day of classes and tests.  It reminds me of how I have to beg the kids when they get home to do their homework.  I guess now I know exactly how they feel.   I don't want to take the time and learn all about the situation and how to take care of it.    I just want to rescue someone.  I just want to put out the fire or tear the vehicle apart.

Bitten by the bug!

I got an email the other day from my fire captain, welcoming me to crew 3. In his email he jokingly cautioned us about getting bitten by the fire bug. I had such mixed emotions about joining, wondering if it was really something I was supposed to do or if it was just me behind the wheel. I hate doing my own thing and learning my lesson later down the road. I feel content with the decision I have made though and one thing i know, it is very clear! I have been bitten. I LOVE IT! More than I ever thought I would. As soon as that pager goes off my heart kicks into rev mode and I am off, grabbing Keys and racing out the door. By the time I dawn my gear and get into the assigned truck I finally have a few minutes to swallow hard, take a few breaths and pray that God prepares me for what I am about to get into. So far, it has been very minor. Directing traffic, assisting mutual aid, cleaning up after an accident and a couple of cancelled calls. It seems like forever since I have felt so alive. Once again I have a reason to work out and to eat well. I love to be needed in such a great way. Since we moved from our little community in spruce grove I have missed the connection that I had with so many friends. I have shed many tears to God, feeling unable to build new connections. With a full time job I no longer fit in with the 'stay at home mom' group. I had lost a big part of my life. The best part about this group is that we all have full time jobs and most of us have spouses and kids waiting at home cheering us on. Once again I found my groove. Best of all I am building a great friendship again. Something that I have deeply missed since our move. So for once in my life I am glad to have gotten bit by the bug.

Organization ~ "Finally your back."

Usually I am quite organized.  In fact there used to be a time when organization was a bad thing in my life.  I was a stay at home mom and would spend all day cleaning and rearranging the house.  Poor Blaine had no idea where anything was almost all of the time and my kids were always coming home to a new bedroom or toys that somehow wondered off to good will.  Going back to work full time changed that about me.  I am still organized however my house has now become accustomed to the "live in" look.

At first the "lived in Look" would make me panic and add a bit of anger to my day.  Now with three kids and two adults on the run it is the new norm.  Who knew though that this new norm would effect my kids the way that it has (more on how it has effected them later.)

This year I didn't want to make a New Years resolution but set a Goal instead.  I have a few goals but one  in particular is to get back in the groove of being a little more organized.  Instead of throwing lunches in a Safeway bag I have now purchased lunch bags with water bottles and a special spoon and fork.  We are trying to make lunches and lay our clothes out the night before, and I have also stocked my freezer full of dinners that should last us at least 3 weeks.  I even have big ideas of a large family calendar a chore chart for my two eager beavers and a homework chart for our not so eager beaver.  This may sound like my freakishness is back but honestly it is where it should be, and I know for a fact it will never get where it used to be. :)    I don't expect things to go well every day and night.  I am sure there will be times where we wake up in a rush and throw together everything all at once but hopefully those days will be few and far between.

Here's to hoping!