Live like you were dying

Today is my first Monday off after my first week of work. I was so looking forward to this Monday. I was so excited to say hi to the teachers and see how everyone was doing since I wasn't around at all last week.

When we arrived at school today I was informed by the principal that Keegan's teacher had suffered a heart attack and is in the hospital. I was blown away. The first thing I thought was that I needed to be there for Keegan when he heard the news. All the teachers reassured me that Keegan would be fine but I had this overwhelming urge to hold him and reassure him myself. As I waited outside his classroom hearing the news yet again, waiting to see how he would take it, reality hit me. We were good friends, his teacher and I. Mr. Kotak is an amazing teacher that will do anything to get his kids to learn. Mr. Kotak is always giving you pointers and always listening to what the parents have to say. He is a man of God and does the best that he can to instill this in a public system. Through Keegan, volunteering at the school and racing together in the amazing challenge Mr. Kotak, Blaine and I have gotten to be good friends. The reality was that I needed Keegan more than he needed me.

My heart ached and the tears flooded my eyes. "Why do I feel such remorse?" I thought. "Why am I having such a hard time with this when the teachers are holding it together so well. I think the reason is because ... I hate to see people sick and hurt. I hate to see families so wounded by illness. Most of all it is so scary. This man is only 40 years old. He runs every morning, eats healthy food and is fit as a fiddle. Little did he know when he kissed his wife and daughter goodbye, as his wife was heading to a "silence retreat" and his daughter off to vacation with family, that he would be battling for his life just days later. I talked to him just two days before all of this and he was explaining that if something tragic happened he doesn't know how they would get a hold of his wife. Did he know subconsciously? Did he have that small inkling or premonition?

Life is uncertain and we often need that wake up call to live life like we were dying.